what can you do to physically prepare yourself to listen
It is tempting to recall that because you lot tin can hear, you must be a skillful listener. Even so, there is far more to listening than just hearing. A good listener will listen not only to what is being said, but also to what is left unsaid or simply partially said. Effective listening therefore involves observing trunk language and noticing inconsistencies between verbal and non-verbal messages, likewise as what is actually being said at any given moment.
For case, if someone tells you that they are happy with their life simply through gritted teeth or with tears filling their eyes, the verbal and non-verbal messages are in disharmonize. It is therefore possible that they don't hateful what they say. Effective listening involves using your eyes and mind, as well as your ears.
This folio describes some principles to help you improve your listening and make it more effective.
10 Principles of Effective Listening
There are x principles behind really good listening.
1. Terminate Talking
Don't talk, listen.
If we were supposed to talk more than we listen, we would take two tongues and ane ear.
Mark Twain
When somebody else is talking, it is of import to listen to what they are maxim. Practice non interrupt, talk over them or cease their sentences for them. Right at present, the most of import thing that yous can do is but listen to them. As the proverb goes, there is a fourth dimension and a place for everything—and that includes both listening and speaking.
…a time to keep silence, and a time to speak…
The Bible, Ecclesiastes 3:vii
Just mind: hear what they are saying, watch their body language, and remember most their meaning.
When the other person has finished talking, you may need to ask them questions, or reflect back what you have heard, to clarify that you have received their message accurately.
In that location is more near these techniques in our pages on Description and Reflecting.
2. Prepare Yourself to Mind
Relax.
Focus on the speaker. Put other things out of your mind. The homo mind is easily distracted by other thoughts, such as wondering what's for lunch, or what fourth dimension you need to get out to catch your train, or whether information technology is going to pelting afterwards.
When yous are listening to someone, try to put other thoughts out of your mind and concentrate on the messages that are beingness communicated.
Our folio on Mindful Listening explains that it is natural for your listen to wander. However, just as you would when meditating, the trick is to catch your mind equally it starts to do and then, and bring it back to the speaker.
The greatest souvenir you can requite some other is the purity of your attention.
Richard Moss
3. Put the Speaker at Ease
Help the speaker to experience free to speak.
It is non always piece of cake for someone to talk freely, specially if they detect the topic is difficult, or information technology causes an emotional reaction. However, as a listener, there are actions you can take to make the speaker experience more confident. For instance:
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Nod and smiling, or apply other gestures or words to encourage them to continue;
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Maintain eye contact simply don't stare;
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Repeat dorsum their terminal few words, in a technique known equally mirroring, which is part of reflecting; and
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Summarise or paraphrase what they accept said, finishing with a question (or a questioning tone) to encourage them to go along.
These techniques are part of active listening, and will show the speaker that you are listening and agreement what is being said. This, in turn, will make them more comfy almost speaking freely.
iv. Remove Distractions
Remove every bit many distractions as possible so yous can focus on what is being said.
The homo mind is prone to existence distracted. It is therefore important to ensure that you don't give your listen as well much opportunity for escape.
When yous are listening to someone, information technology is a practiced idea to remove possible distractions. Put down your telephone, or turn away from your computer screen. It is also a good thought to avert unnecessary interruptions. For example, at work, you might go out your desks and go to a meeting room, leaving your phones behind.
Avoid behaviours like doodling, shuffling papers, looking out of the window, picking your fingernails or like.
These kind of behaviours are unhelpful for both you lot and the speaker. They are likely to distract you lot from the procedure of listening, and making your listening less effective. They will also advise to the speaker that you are not interested, which makes it harder for them to speak.
five. Empathise
Endeavor to understand the other person's signal of view.
When you are listening, it is important to come across bug from the speaker's perspective: to empathize with them. This helps you to understand their bespeak of view, and to empathize their concerns.
The best mode to do this is to let go of preconceived ideas.
Past opening your mind to new ideas and perspectives, you tin can more fully empathise with the speaker. If the speaker says something that you disagree with, then expect. Keep listening to their views and opinions without comment, until they take finished speaking.
Afterward all, your first impression could be wrong. Their argument could be more nuanced when you listen carefully to it in full.
You should only starting time to construct an argument to counter what is said, if necessary, once they have finished, and you have fully assimilated their argument.
See our pages: Empathic Listening and What is Empathy? for more than.
half dozen. Exist Patient
A pause, even a long pause, does non necessarily hateful that the speaker has finished.
Sometimes information technology takes time to formulate what to say and how to say information technology. Exist patient and let the speaker continue in their ain time. Never exist tempted to interrupt or end a sentence for someone. This is especially important if the speaker has a speech impediment such as a falter.
Stammering
People with a stammer—a hesitation in their spoken communication that means that they tend to repeat the initial sound of a word—may accept a sound to which they default when stammering. They may as well have adult tactics that enable them to overcome their stammer, such every bit changing the discussion they planned to use.
It is therefore important that you practise not try to guess what give-and-take they want to use from the showtime letter, or make full in for them—because you are quite likely to exist incorrect.
Our page on Patience has more data about how to develop the skill to wait when necessary.
vii. Avert Personal Prejudice
Try to be impartial.
Our personal prejudices tin lead us to pre-judge someone'due south words and meaning based on their habits or mannerisms. This prevents effective listening, considering y'all have finer already decided whether their words have value.
Don't get irritated and don't let someone's habits or mannerisms distract y'all from what they are really proverb.
Everybody has a different fashion of speaking. For example, some people are more nervous or shy than others, some accept regional accents or brand excessive arm movements, some people similar to stride whilst talking, and others similar to sit down nevertheless. These behaviours tin be distracting for listeners.
However, attempt to focus on what is being said and ignore the style of commitment or the accompanying mannerisms.
Top Tip: Be Aware of Your Distractors
We all discover some elements of delivery more than distracting than others. For some, it may exist a particular regional accent that is so fascinating in its tone that the words or significant are lost in manual. For others, arm waving may prove to be too interesting.
Be aware of the aspects of spoken communication that y'all discover peculiarly distracting.
When you are aware, y'all can take activity to overcome your tendency to exist distracted, and focus on the words and significant over again.
viii. Listen to the Tone
Volume and tone both add to what someone is proverb.
A proficient speaker will employ both volume and tone to assistance them to keep an audience attentive. Equally, everybody will use pitch, tone and book of voice in certain situations. Effective listening ways using these non-exact cues to help y'all to empathise the emphasis and nuance of what is being said.
Run into our page on Effective Speaking for more than almost how y'all can interpret and apply volume and tone when speaking.
ix. Heed for Ideas – Not Simply Words
You need to get the whole picture, not just isolated bits and pieces.
Words are the near basic elements of advice, merely they do non occur in isolation. You may hear people say something like:
"Well, I understood all the words individually, only not really the overall sense."
What they mean is that they were unable to grasp the idea behind the words.
Perhaps one of the most hard aspects of listening is the ability to link together pieces of information to reveal the ideas of others.
Even so, with proper concentration, letting go of distractions, and improving your focus this becomes easier. Information technology is also helpful to use techniques similar clarification and questioning to help you make more than sense of ideas.
10. Await and Lookout man for Not-Exact Advice
Gestures, facial expressions, and middle-movements tin can all be important in understanding someone'south total meaning.
We tend to think of listening equally being something that happens with our ears—and hearing is of class of import. Nevertheless, active listening also involves our eyes.
Some experts suggest that upward to lxxx% of communication is non-verbal. That includes hearing the book and tone—merely a substantial element of whatever communication is torso linguistic communication. This is why it is much harder to gauge pregnant over the phone.
When listening, it is vital to watch and pick up the additional data beingness transmitted via non-verbal communication.
Encounter our pages on Not-verbal Advice for more than well-nigh this aspect of listening.
Farther Reading from Skills Y'all Need
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Our eBooks are platonic for anyone who wants to learn about or develop their interpersonal skills and are full of easy-to-follow, applied information.
In Conclusion
It takes more than than hearing to listen effectively.
Following these x principles should aid y'all to develop meliorate listening skills. This, in turn, will aid to improve your interactions and relationships with others.
Source: https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/listening-principles.html
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